Poster for FBI005 Mandroid - Anti-gravity Machine

This is a poster I just finished designing for my record label's latest release - Mandroid - Antigravity Machines

Health updates

I think my Hashimoto's Thyroiditis is cured. I went to see another integrative doctor who specializes in intestinal disorders and she found that I had/have a leaky gut and not enough intestinal bacteria. So, I started taking GI flora and slowly my neck burning has gone away just like she said it would. I have also quit drinking alcohol except for a tiny bit ocassionally - this has also contributed to my gut healing. So, now it is just a waiting game to see if my thyroid recovers. The doctor said that after it stops being bombarded with anti-bodies, it will regenerate and heal. I am sure it is going to take a while. In the meantime, I am taking thyroid medication that I am having imported from Canada called "ERFA Thyroid." It works really well - much better than any current U.S. brand. There is actually a shortage of dessicated thyroid medication in the U.S. right now because of rising demand. Have I uncovered the cure for Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, and hypothyroidism? I guess we will find out. I predict that in a year from now, I will either be completely off meds or will have at least had to cut down my dosage. I have my fingers crossed and meditate on this every day.


In other news, I have been working out a lot and so far have lost 16 lbs since I discovered I had hypothyroidism. I am definitely feeling a looking a whole lot better. I love life again!

My Uncle Bob

Last Monday morning my mom called me at 4:30 and told me that my Uncle Bob had died at 3AM. He had been bedridden for weeks with a pressure sore. We thought that he was on the road to recovery and was going to come visit us in a couple of weeks in Virginia (he lived in New York City). She was very upset and I went into shock. I could not go back to sleep, I just got up and sat in shock until it was time to get ready to go to work. Getting through the day was tough. My mom and Smitty drove up to NYC to go to the Medical Examiner's office to claim his body (she had to look at a photograph). Then, she went to his apartment because she was planning on staying there while organizing his memorial service, but the police had sealed the door and nobody was allowed in. Apparently NYC has some law where the next of kin must bring a copy of a paid funeral bill, a tax waiver, and a property voucher to surrogate court before they are allowed access to the deceased person's residence. So, she had to drive all the way back down to Virginia that same day. My mom has an awful habit of not turning her cell phone on so I was quite worried about her all day when I did not hear from her or could not reach her. I kept calling my uncle's apartment and getting the answering machine. I was emotional wreck, I kept breaking down to people at work, and to anyone who talked to me. On Tuesday I went to my mom's house and helped her notify everyone, and gave her support while she was trying to get in touch with my uncle's finance manager, a lawyer, the medical examiner, his friends at work, the funeral home etc etc. Things have been a mess, and the worst part was trying to figure out how to come up with the $7,000 for his funeral. I don't want to go into all of the details about financial stuff, but it all worked out becuase my mom has a good friend who lent her the money.

I came home yesterday, and it was my birthday. I spent most of the day scanning pictures of my Uncle, to make a slideshow of his life for his memorial service. He is being cremated and we are avoiding a traditional religious service - opting for a celebration of his life where his friends and loved ones in New York can gather and honor him. We will also be having a celebration of his life in Virginia at a later time.

Its hard to make people understand how much my Uncle Bob meant to me. He really helped and influenced me a lot in my life. In a lot of ways he was the strongest father figure in my life - more so than my real father. I want to write my next post telling his story. He was an amazing person and will be greatly missed by many.

We found a house

So, about a month ago we found a house that we love. We are now in the process of buying it. I am signing the papers for the mortgage this weekend and we have inspections, a survey over the next few weeks and a closing date of August 13th. We will be fully moved in by September 1st. The house is cool, but the best thing about it is that we have a pond in our backyard! Its 2.35 acres and 1600+ square feet. Three bedrooms and 2.5 bathrooms. It has a front porch and a fireplace and french doors off of the back. Next year we hope to build a deck with the help of my step-father Smitty. I'm very excited. I have wanted to buy a house for a very long time and we finally did it! :)

Depeche Mode goodness

A week ago, Santino and I told a trip to the local brick and mortar music store and bought four cds and a DVD: Depeche Mode - Sounds of the Universe, Pink Floyd - The Division Bell, Sonic Youth - Goo, Joy Division - Unknown Pleasures (Remastered Special Edition), and Inside Bjork documentary.

All of these albums (and the DVD) are amazing, but I wanted to log into today and share specifically how great the new Depeche Mode album is. They brought out some of their old synthesizer gear for it, which added a REALLY great touch, especially for an old fan like me.

Check out the track "Fragile Tension" which features some synthesizers that sound like they were used on classics albums like Some Great Reward and Black Celebration:



The lyrics to "Little Soul" followed by "Peace" put me in tears on the way to work this morning:







I highly recommend purchasingthis album if you like Depeche Mode!

EMDR Therapy this week

Last week I went to talk to my EMDR therapist about getting treatment for the many traumas that have occurred to me throughout my life. I have been diagnosed with Post-traumatic Stress Disorder from which I am increasingly suffering many psychological and physical symptoms as I get older. I have recently made the decision that I cannot go on and longer trying to repress and cope with these things by myself, and am going to invest the time and money into getting help. After much soul searching over the past couple of months, I have become aware of three "big" issues that I will be focusing on in the next few months.

Yesterday I had my first EMDR session to help me remember and process these things. It was very painful and made me feel very vulnerable to talk about some of things I talked about yesterday. I left the session feeling very icky, and that my therapist was judging me for what I confessed. I know that she wasn't and that I was just projecting my guilt onto her. Next week I am going to address this.

The cause of these feelings involved my sexual awakening when I was 15 and the string of events which led to being involved in an abusive relationship in my early to mid-twenties. At the root of it all I discovered the huge amount of guilt which led me to make choices which reflected my feelings of not deserving to be loved and to be made to suffer. These choices attracted a person into my life who mirrored these feelings back to me.

Although I escaped this relationship and now am involved with a very wonderful person who truly loves me and treats me the way I deserve to be treated, these memories are still with me and make it very hard to enjoy my life even to this day. I often have nightmares and have night terrors that this specific person is going to stalk me and break into my house at night and kill my husband and I. The reason I have these fears is because I was traumatized and threatened that this would happen at the end of our relationship when I was trying to get out.

I also discovered a connection between how observing my mother being abused by my father as a child and teenage caused me to subconsciously recreate the experience in my early adult life. Even though I broke the pattern, I still have a lot of clearing out to do.

More updates as they happen.

Sync 24, Signal Type, Silicon Scally new release

One of the artists who joined TechnoBass.net uploaded some new tracks on his profile and they are freaking awesome. They are on an upcoming release due out in June. I just wanted to share because they are some of my favorite new tracks coming out right now.


Find more music like this on TechnoBass.net

Starstruck

The other night, Santino called Keither Tucker from Aux 88 to talk to him about our upcoming trip to Detroit. He gave me the phone to talk to him. I was so starstruck! I have been admiring and listening to their music for like 13 years now, and it has inspired me so much. He said that they are going to throw a barbeque when we are there and we are invited. Yay!

I didn't really report this here but when I launched http://www/technobass.net they were really supportive and sent us a promo package with cds, t-shirts and autographed posters.

I hope I don't act like a total geek when I meet them in person.

With the purchase I made at the Adidas Store in Georgetown a month ago I got a $20 gift certificate, with which I am going to purchase this dress next weekend to wear in Detroit:



I am going to wear it with my new Adidas Superstars. :)

I Study Astrology

After being flamed and persectued on a messageboard for "believing in" astrology, I kind of went underground about the fact that I read about it a lot and generally observe my reality based on what I have learned from it.

I have decided to not be underground about it anymore. I study astrology!

I am not talking about the sun sign kind that is in newspapers or little scrolls you buy in the supermarket. I am talking about full on birthcharts with houses, aspects, progressions etc. Its so fascinating and rings so true for me. I observe its truth and see evidence that it is relevant every single day.

To Much Work, Too Little Time

I mentioned a while ago that I was going to convert this blog to Wordpress. Also, I have to redesign my portfolio website and finish my music artists website. Before I can do these things, though, I have to finish the artwork for the next FBI release (which is going to be a cd album) and finish redesigning the FBI website. I also need to finish an acupuncture website for my acupuncturist and implement the flash media player I wrote for someone else. I am also working on my album. UGHHH too much to do!